Watching Gravity

I always love watching movies. Any kind of movie (except animation, maybe). The last movie I saw was Gravity and it was amazing movie, no wonder it got many awards. Sandra Bullock did amazing job in that movie, although I keep admiring how George Clooney impressed me in only few scenes. Enough talking about the stars, let’s talk about dr. Jones, dr Ryan Jones (“What kind of a name is Ryan for a girl?” Said Matt).

dr Jones has one hell of personality. Thing that attracted me most is when I finally found out about her daughter. It explained how gloomy she was in the beginning, how hard she tried to keep her feeling for herself. I guessed her experience of losing someone trapped her in her own grief and she shut everyone out. This thing was the one that keep her from trying her best to go home, because she already lose the meaning of a “home”. The emotional state of this poor dr was really influenced by the grief she was holding. Easily panic at the beginning and kind of “calm down” after she finally “let go” of her daughter and Matt.

Her job as a scientist really helped her so much in surviving. How the hell is she gonna have an idea to use a fire extinguisher if she had no knowledge about “pressure”. How the hell is she gonna remember how to turn on Shenzhou if she wasn’t used to train her memory, she is a scientist for good sake. Although this movie has many flaws if compared to the real “space things”, the personality of dr Ryan is really fascinating.

A women, dedicating her life for her job after losing someone so important for her and then encounter a life changing events. She has learn how to “let go” in a hard way. One hell of a story, almost everyone can relate to it. It teaches us about hope, even when we think that we have lose all the second chances.

I also have learn my lesson in a hard way.

 

They love me, they love me not

Last week, we studied about personality in my classes and my students got very fascinated by Freud’s Defense Mechanism. I asked them to try to analyze their own personality with one of the Personality Theory as our weekly assignment and most of them analyzed their kind of defense mechanism.

There are many forms of defense mechanism, they are: denial (the refusal to face the threat); Repression (suppress the anxiety away from awareness); regression (return to a form of an earlier stage of development behaviors); Displacement (transfer impulses from unsuitable objects to socially acceptable objects); Sublimation (channeling impulses into more positive efforts); Reaction formation (expresses impulses in a 180 degrees different kind of attitudes); Projection (assuming other person is facing our own unacceptable impulses); Rationalization (self-deceiving justifications for unacceptable behaviors).

Many of my students confessed in their assignment that they commonly use rationalization to make peace with their unacceptable behaviors and I found that understandable because they are in a transition from teenagers to adults, you need many excuses to cope in this transitions.

The thing is, I also experience something that made me analyze my own defense mechanism. I really lost in grief these past days. I kinda thought that some people really hate me after all the things I’ve done for them. I felt like I’m crushed. I love them for real and I didn’t feel like my feeling is reciprocal. The unloved feeling has keep me from tight sleep and started to influence my health negatively. I feel that they avoiding me, they did something wrong to me but they act like I am the one to be blamed. I hate to be in this kind of situation where you know that this was not a healthy relationship but you can’t just quit because you really care about the person and after all the sacrifices, turned out that you meant nothing for them.

Sucked, no?

What make it more sucked is that those people act like everything is fine between us and their casual attitudes shock me. Am I looking into these whole things from a wrong view? That is the moment when I finally understand the situation. I suddenly feel like I am the most stupid person to over reacting in this situation. I figure out that this conflict only happen in my mind. I was fighting with my own perspective. I am projecting my disappointments to other people. I was disappointed at how they treated me like I was not their friends but I projected it as they disappointed at me and didn’t want me at their life anymore.

Yes. This whole time. I finally understand that I keep projecting my own feeling towards others.

I still have a feeling that all of my thoughts about this unhealthy relationships are true but right now I just want to think it as my own fear that has been projected. I prefer to think it this way because I am so used to find my own happiness, I don’t want to depend my feeling to others. If I thought this is only me, projecting my fear onto others, then it will be easier to fix these inner conflicts and keep it in me.

See guys? We’ve learn something together. I am just a knowledge tool that shares a book’s texts to you but all of you share a bit of your soul to me that really helps me to find my own self. I cannot thank you all enough for this life lessons.

Belajar dari permainan Halma

Masih ingat permainan halma?? Atau Chinese Checkers in English??
Permainan yang bertujuan memindahkan sekelompok pion (atau apa yah nyebutnya??) menuju seberang dan yang paling cepat berhasil memindahkannya lah yang menjadi pemenang.

Halma jelas merupakan sebuah permainan yang memerlukan strategi, meskipun kebanyakan pemainnya adalah anak-anak, tapi masih akan sangat menaraik bagi para orang dewasa untuk memainkannya, karena strategi merupakan sebuah keharusan untuk dimiliki, dan diasah oleh semua golongan usia (pembenaran karena masih sering memainkannya, hehe :-p ). Dan jelas, strategi berteman akrab dengan logika. Permainan halma adalah cara asyik untuk membuat kita berlatih membuat strategi-strategi dan logika berpikir kita. Halma membuat kita bepikir tapi dengan cara yang mengasyikkan. Think Smart,, Think Fun!! :mrgreen:

Dari langkah-langkah yang diambil seseorang dalam bermain halma, sebenarnya merefleksikan sedikit mengenai bagaimana seseorang memecahkan masalah dalam hidupnya, sehingga sedikit banyak, dapat diraba logika berpikir mereka.

Ada beberapa tipe orang yang dapat dikelompokkan berdasarkan permainan halma mereka, tentu saja ini hanya pengelompokan berdasarkan pengalaman dan pemikiran ta dalam sepak terjang ta di dunia per-halma-an,, 😆

Yang pertama : orang yang cepat beradaptasi, kemampuan beradaptasi mereka sangat baik,, atau dengan kata lain, orang yang berpikir dengan cepat,, Think Smart,, Think Fast!! Dalam bermain halma, orang ini akan sangat pintar memanfaatkan keadaan, apapun langkah lawan akan tetap menjadi langkah menguntungkan bagi mereka. Mereka tidak memikirkan strategi secara penuh dan sempurna di awal, sehingga langkah-langkah yang diambil pun tidak teratur dan sering malah menghancurkan strategi lawan, sehingga orang dengan tipe ini hampir akan selalu menjadi pemenang dalam permainan halma. Dalam dunia nyata, menurut ta, kelompok ini merupakan tipe “orang lapangan.”

Tipe kedua : Ta menyebutnya tipe “organisatoris sejati,” karena dalam permainan halmanya, tipe kedua ini memperhitungkan setiap langkahnya dan mempunyai strategi yang cukup matang dan tanpa sadar menjadi seorang perfeksionis. Namun kelemahannya, agak sulit beradaptasi jika langkah-langkah yang telah disusun dengan penuh perhitungan dikacaukan atau bahkan ditutup oleh lawannya. Dalam dunia nyata, tipe ini termasuk “orang pemikir” dan dalam permainan halma, tipe ini akan bersaing ketat dengan tipe I meskipun yang lebih sering memenangkan permainan adalah tipe I, namun disbanding tipe III maka tipe ini akan menang dengan mudah, menurut tipe ini, Think Smart,, Think Detail!!

Tipe ketiga : tipe apa adanya,, Mereka punya strategi seadanya dan tidak pula terlalu tanggap terhadap peluang yang ada, sehingga alam bermain, langkah-langkahnya mudah di tebak dan dipatahkan oleh lawan dan akan dikalahkan dengan mudah jika bertemu lawan dari tipe I dan II. Dalam dunia nyata, orang tipe ini juga terlihat sangat biasa dan hidup mereka pada umumnya datar-datar saja. Orang dengan tipe ini lebih cenderung untuk menjalani hidup apa adanya dan dengan cara yang simple pula, prinsipnya, Think Smart,, Think as it is!!

Lebih lanjut lagi, jika dideskripsikan lebih dalam, maka orang dengan tipe I lebih berorientasi keluar dimana ia bisa dengan cepat akrab dengan orang lain dan mempunyai emosi yang terbuka [mirip extrovert menurut teori Jung]. Sedangkan tipe II mempunyai logika berpikir yang berpusat pada dirinya sehingga kadang tidak memperhatikan sekitar dan melewatkan sebuah peluang karenanya. Orang tipe ini mempunyai emosi tertutup dan sulit memulai sesuatu yang baru. Orientasi orang tipe II adalah ke dalam,, namun jika ia sudah mempunyai sebuah tujuan, ia akan memvisualisasikan ke dalam pikirannya cara mencapainya dengan detail dan menjadi semangat, meski kadang menjadi terlalu focus. Bagaimana dengan tipe III?? Yah,, orangnya sangat apa adanya dan terkadang malah menjadi terkesan malas berusaha, padahal, prinsip mereka, hiduplah seperti air, mengalir mengikuti alur dan arus,,

Udah ah…. Nanti malah harus ganti judul jadi Psikologi Halma :mrgreen: 😆

psst.. i’m d 2nd type,, hoho