Potret masa lalu

Saya ingat, zaman SMP dulu ada satu sosok lelaki (ceilah…) yang selalu saya bayangkan akan menjadi cinta sejati saya, lelaki impian saya…

Dia benar-benar sebuah keajaiban bagi hidup saya, dia bisa membuat saya berlatih bahasa Inggris dengan sangat giat, dia bisa membuat saya jumpalitan tak karuan setiap mendengar suaranya, dia benar-benar bisa membuat saya seperti orang gila setiap melihat wajahnya…


Zaman edan memang masa-masa itu…

kemarin, setelah sekian lama dia tak begitu mengusik pikiran saya lagi, saya kembali teringat obsesi masa kecil saya itu…

walaupun saya sudah tak mengagumi dan menggilainya seperti dulu lagi, tetapi suaranya tetap mampu menghadirkan rasa syahdu, memanggil rindu yang selalu tersimpan rapi disudut jendela hati, membuka kenangan-kenangan masa kecil yang sangat luar biasa….

Ah… masa itu… masa di mana kita bisa bebas mencintai, dan tak pernah ingin memiliki…

selalu, Dia akan selalu menjadi idola masa kecil ku yang tak pernah padam, dan mungkin bukan hanya bagiku, tapi juga bagi beribu orang lainnya… karena musiknya sangat jenius… kharisma ia dan teman-temannya yang tertuang pada setiap musik mereka penuh inspirasi… aku akan selalu menjadi penikmat, walau dalam diam…

always… Chester Bennington…

Linkin Park!


Pic taken from here

September #wishlist and #ToDoList


  1. a trip to Bandung
  2. fresh strawberries
  3. an SLR camera
  4. a bike for “bike to work”
  5. Tennis racket
  6. cute abaya and hijabs.. much!
  7. tons of macarons and cup cakes


  1. Finish an admission
  2. Finish 2 essay about women
  3. Finish the statement of purpose
  4. contact potential people for great reference
  5. updating my macbook
  6. organize messy files
  7. sort my cloth

*finger cross*

-all for black-

I love black, that’s why i feel an urge to copy-paste this article from here..

enjoy it guys and gals!

All About the Color BLACK

Written by Kate Smith, CMG, CfYH

Introducing black

Meaning, symbolism and psychology of color: All About the Color blackBlack is authoritative and powerful; because black can evoke strong emotions, too much can be overwhelming. Black represents a lack of color, the primordial void, emptiness. It is a classic color for clothing, possibly because it makes the wearer appear thinner and more sophisticated.

How the color black affects us physically

  • makes one feel inconspicuous
  • provides a restful emptiness
  • is mysterious by evoking a sense of potential and possibility

Black around the globe

  • In Chinese culture, colors corresponded with the five primary elements, the directions, and the four seasons. Black was associated with water, north, and winter.
  • In Aztec culture, black represented war because black obsidian glass was used as the cutting edge of battle swords. It was also the symbol of religion; priests wore no other color but black.
  • In the west, black is the color of mourning but the custom of wearing unadorned black clothing for mourning dates back at least to the Roman Empire, when the Toga pulla made of dark-colored wool was worn during periods of mourning.
  • In rural areas of Mexico, Portugal, Spain, Italy and Greece widows will wear black for the rest of their lives. The immediate family members of the deceased will wear black for an extended period of time.
  • In England, taxi cabs are traditionally black.
  • In China, black is a traditional clothing color for boys.

Political associations with black

  • Mussolini’s Fascist militia was known as “the Blackshirts.”
  • Black is the color of the Portuguese political party Leftwing Bloc.

Interesting facts about black

  • A black cat crossing one’s path is considered bad luck in many cultures, except in England, where spotting a black cat is considered good luck.
  • Black implies weight — people will think a black box weighs more than a white one.
  • The color black is associated with sophistication and power…tuxedos, limousines, judge’s robes, and priests’ attire are all typically black.
  • Musicians in an orchestra pit often wear all black during live concerts, so as not to draw attention away from the stage performers.
  • The color black is so widely regarded as sophisticated in fashion that the term “the new black” is often used to describe and give merit to a color trend.
  • One old wives’ tale claims that if a woman is buried wearing the color black, she’ll come back to haunt the family.
  • Dr. Jigor Kano, founder of Judo, created divisions among students using Belt colors, in order to give students recognition for certain achievements. The Black Belt is the highest color belt in most martial arts, including ITF and WTF of Tae Kwon Do. Black symbolizes the combination of all colors of the universe. From black, all colors originate and spring up to create the lively rainbow. The Black Belt is the beginning of true achievement, understanding and wisdom, and blending the mind and the body into one, into a unity within oneself and with the universe.

Black in athletics and sports

  • Football teams include the Oakland Raiders, New Orleans Saints, and Carolina Panthers.
  • Baseball teams include the Chicago White Sox, San Francisco Giants, and Pittsburgh Pirates.

Black as a signature color

  • Johnny Cash — This country music icon was referred to as “the man in black.”
  • Roy Orbison — His trademark black sunglasses caused a lot of speculation.
  • Kiss — American rock band Kiss was known for their black wigs, black clothes, and painted faces.

Companies or brands identified with black

  • Chanel

See more brand, trademark, & signature colors…

Popular phrases that include black

  • Black comedy: creating comedy out of a tragic event or situation
  • Black coffee: coffee without milk
  • Black belt: the highest awarded belt in the martial arts
  • Blackball: voting against someone in a secret manner to prevent them from becoming a member of a club
  • Blackmail: to demand payment or action by means of a threat
  • Black sheep: a bad character in an otherwise respectable group
  • Black day: a bad day; often used before the name of a paticular day to symbolize a tragic event, such as black Tuesday or black Friday.

Please note that while the terms above illustrate how black has historically been used in language, equating black to negativity is outmoded and using these terms could be hurtful. Like color, language is a powerful tool, so please always choose your colors and words wisely.

See our list of popular phrases that include color…

Quotes about black

  • “I’ve been 40 years discovering that the queen of all colors was black.” — Pierre-Auguste Renoir
  • “Black is real sensation, even if it is produced by entire absence of light. The sensation of black is distinctly different from the lack of all sensations.” — Hermann von Helmholtz
  • “I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down, / Livin’ in the hopeless, hungry side of town, / I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime, / But is there because he’s a victim of the times.” — Johnny Cash
  • “Without black, no color has any depth. But if you mix black with everything, suddenly there’s shadow – no, not just shadow, but fullness. You’ve got to be willing to mix black into your palette if you want to create something that’s real.” — Amy Grant
  • “People can have the Model T in any color – so long as it’s black.” — Henry Ford
  • “Black is not a color.” — Edouard Manet
  • “There’s something about black. You feel hidden away in it.” — Georgia O’Keeffe
  • “Black seems to make a colour cloudy, but darkness doesn’t. A ruby could thus keep getting darker without ever becoming cloudy; but if it became blackish red, it would become cloudy.” — Ludwig Josef Johann Wittgenstein
  • “Black is a color of power and strength, and to see all those players, with the captains linking their arms in front – it’s a powerful picture.” –H ayden Fry

See entire list of quotes about color…

What it says about you when you buy a black vehicle

There is no question that the vehicle you drive is an extension of your personality — an unspoken but clear message to the rest of the world.

  • The message you send by driving a Black vehicle: Empowered, not easily manipulated, loves elegance, appreciates classics.


From The Color Answer Book by Leatricce Eiseman with permission


Songs with black in the title

  • “Baby’s in Black” by The Beatles
  • “Paint it Black” by The Rolling Stones
  • “Back in Black” by AC/DC
  • “Back To Black” by Lucinda Williams
  • “Black and Blue” by Van Halen
  • “Black and White” by Three Dog Night
  • “Black Betty” by Lynyrd Skynyrd
  • “Black Country Woman” by Led Zeppelin
  • “Black Crow Blues” by Bob Dylan
  • “Black Magic Woman” by Carlos Santana
  • “Black Velvet” by Alannah Myles

Black in the garden

  • Why grow black flowers? Not just for the sake of having a conversation piece in your garden, although they are good for that. The best reason is because they have so many design uses. For example, black flowers are great for cooling down hot colors, like fire-engine-red ‘Lucifer’ crocosmia or hot-orange Mexican sunflower. Garden Gate Magazine
  • The magic of black flowers has attracted our attention for centuries. Black tulips and black roses appear to originate from a fairytale world.
  • A pure black flower is the Holy Grail of plant breeders worldwide. Their improbable and “unnatural” color inspires a powerful feeling of mystical expectation. Read more about black flowers from the Flowers and Plants Association
  • Creating a black garden needs to be given some thought. Is your aim formal or modern? Do you wish to use black as accents and highlights or as the main color? Forget people who say that black cannot be used on its own and don’t argue over what is or is not black, just simply plant it. Use the differing tones and hues to enhance the overall feeling. Be certain of one thing: this color is not gloomy. It is modern, vibrant, and sexy. It mixes so easily with other colors of the spectrum, above all with green, chartreuse, gold, and silver. Karen Platt

Black and our sense of taste

  • Black tea accounts for over 90% of the tea consumption in the western world. The characteristic flavors of black tea range from flowery to fruity, nutty, and spicy and emerge during the production process. SpecialTeas
  • A pinch of black pepper is added to almost every type of recipe imaginable. Once used as currency and presented to the gods as a sacred offering, it is fortunate that this most popular of spices is available throughout the year. whfoods.org
  • True licorice candy contains an extract from the root of the licorice plant, Glycyrrhiza glabra. This licorice root has been used since ancient times to flavor and sweeten candies, teas, throat lozenges, pharmaceuticals, and other products. Today many, but not all, black licorice candies are flavored with licorice extract. Hersheys.com

Black and our sense of smell

  • Anise: Licorice scent. An all time favorite of licorice lovers. Aromatherapy benefits: Cheering, sense-enhancing, mildly euphoric. -Scent It.com
  • Licorice: mysterious, spicy-sharp, almost louche — as scents go, licorice is notoriously polarizing. Blended into perfumes, it gives otherwise ho-hum fragrances a “sexy, murky spin.” Cristina Mueller (Lucky magazine Sept. 2006)
  • “Licorice” was the original scent of the black colored Magic Scents Crayons from Binney & Smith Inc., introduced in 1994 with mostly food scents. However, there were numerous reports that children were eating the food-scented crayons, so the food scents were retired and replaced with non-food scents. The scent for the color black became “leather jacket.”

Dipelototin Gank Kucing

Alkisah, setelah kemarin saya hanya membelanjakan Rp 0 seharian (alias gak ngeluarin duit sepeserpun) karena pagi sarapan buah yang ada di kamar, siang ditraktir teman di kantor dan malamnya ketiduran, whaddalife! 😀 – hari ini saya mendapat tugas khusus untuk membelikan makan teman-teman seruangan, ha!

tapi saya bukan mau curhat karena jadi pengganti abang-abang deliperi serpis, tapi kisah ini terjadi di perjalanan kembali ke ruangan dari kantin dengan berbungkus-bungkus makanan di tenteng di tangan.

Kantor saya agak sedikit layak disamakan dengan kebun binatang karena banyak banget peliharan binatang yang dibiarkan lepas begitu saja di halaman, salah satunya adalah kucing, dan perjalan ke ruangan saya dari kantin harus melalui tempat penampungan sampah yang jadi tempat tongkrongannya para kucing dan mungkin karena saya lagi apes, saya lewat ketika mereka sedang nongkrong-nongkrong (mungkin abis makan siang bareng). Persis kayak rombongan preman lagi nongkrong, orang yang lewat mereka pelototin rame-rame sampe hilang dari pandangan dengan tatapan yang membuat si orang tersebut pengen tenggelam aja ke bumi dan itu lah yang terjadi ke saya tadi! saya jalan dengan dipelototin gank kucing! …mungkin karena salah satu yang saya bawa adalah nasi + ikan,,

err.. SEREM euy!

Mesjid dan Keranda

barusan aku mampir ke sebuah mesjid di daerah Cempaka Putih, buat shalat Dzuhur,,
gak ada yang aneh ama mesjidnya, selain sepi yang mencekam *pasang musik serem*,,
biasanya kalo mampir ke mesjid itu perasaan tenang dan adem, tapi pas ke mesjid ini koq malah agak merinding ya? atau aku yang gak terbiasa dengan kondisi mesjid yg sepi (biasanya kalo ke mesjid pasti ada orangnya, minimal yang jaga, tapi mesjid ini sangatsangat sepi sampai mengarah ke creepy).
mencari tempat wudhu wanita, seperti biasa pasti muter ke bagian belakang (tipically, tempat wudhu wanita pasti daerah belakang mesjid), dan…..jeng jeng jeng jeng… aku tambah merinding karena ada keranda (atau tempat mandikan jenazah? ntahlah :p ) dengan cantiknya nangkring disana,,
mau balik kanan tapi malu! 😀

agak sadar, hal yang biasakan ya, ada keranda (atau tempat mandikan mayat? ntahlah :p) di mesjid?? tapi at least ditempatkan diruang khusus donk ya? supaya tidak mengagetkan jemaah,,
kan gak lucu ada yg balik kanan dr mesjid cuma garagara takut ama keranda (atau tempat mandikan mayat? ntahlah :p)….
lagilagi,, bodoh!
hahaa 😀

.cerita pagi.

Tadi pagi bangun dengan sedikit tidak sadar (siapa suruh tidur lagi abis shalat subuh?!),,

di luar hujan agak deras,,

setelah kesadaran pulih, mulai panik karena biasanya nebeng ama temen yang naik motor, sekarang hujan, tak punya mantel, mantab!

akhirnya nekat mau naik angkot aja ke kantornya,,

sampai di jalan besar, hujan masih rinai-rinai, tapi angkot yang ditunggu tak kunjung menghampiri, kebanyakan malah ngeloyor pergi begitu saja karena memang sudah penuh,, -_-”

makin panik,, akhirnya sms lagi temen yang biasa ditebengin, mau naik motor aja, biarin dah hujan-hujan dikit yang penting gak nyampe dikantor 3 jam kemudian (kebayangkan macetnya Jakarta di pagi hari hujan!)

Nunggu si teman datang dengan berteduh di teras depan toko yang belum buka, bergabung dengan mas-mas yang udah neduh duluan disana.

Kruyuk…kruyuk,, perut saya bunyi, sodara-sodara!

teringat tadi bawa coklat buat sarapan dikantor, akhirnya makan di depan teras toko itu sambil nunggu tebengan datang,, ngelirik sebelah, masnya ngeliat aja, gak enak, akhirnya saya tawarin juga ke mas nya,,


muka masnya malah terlihat syok waktu saya tiba-tiba nawarin dia coklat, dan saya juga baru sadar sekarang, kalau ternyata saya nawarinnya pake agak sedikit maksa dan mendorong-dorong coklatnya, padahal dia bilang gak mau,,




another year of my life has passed by,,

many things happened,,

i call this year as a wonder year,,

got accepted in a wonderful-ever-dream job and living my life on my own behalf,,

this year is my fighting year!

lulus kuliah terus kerja, mungkin itu yang paling diinginkan oleh banyak orang dan aku mendapat anugrah itu, Alhamdulillah,,

Aku diterima kerja ditempat yang rasanya cuma bisa aku impikan, tapi ternyata bisa jadi kenyataan, bisa mulai membangun kehidupan sendiri dan menata masa depan,,

ketika kita merasa hidup kita dapat kita atur sendiri, saat itulah kita menyadari bahwa selama ini kita terlalu banyak mengabaikan anugerah dr Allah,,

Hidup sendiri di Ibu Kota memang tidak mudah, harus berani agar punya banyak pengalaman dan harus supel agar bisa diterima dilingkungan mana saja serta yang paling penting harus selalu berrefleksi pada diri sendiri agar tidak kebablasan,,

i welcome my new phase of life,,

Welcome Journeys!

Cinta Tak Harus Memiliki,, = Bullshit!

percayalah kasih
cinta tak harus memiliki
walau kau dengannya
namun ku yakin hatimu untukku
percayalah kasih
cinta tak harus memiliki
walau kau coba lupakan aku
tapi ku kan slalu ada untukmu

sumber : ini

Bait-bait di atas adalah cuplikan dari lagu Ecoutez yang berjudul Percayalah,,

Kemarin aku sempat termenung dan menangis mendengarkan lagu ini, aku tak mampu membayangkan jika tak dapat memiliki orang yang ku sayangi, tak mampu membayangkan untuk membaginya dengan orang lain, dengan alasan apapun, aku tak mungkin bisa mengikhlaskan dia untuk mencintai dan dimiliki orang lain dan aku tetap mencintainya tanpa syarat..

Maukah kalian percaya? aku tidak, semua itu Bullshit bagiku, omong kosong!

…when I’m with u

lagi senang lagu ini beberapa hari terakhir,,

soft and touchy,,

reminds me of him and i’m missing him so,,


hope november will come earlier, but it’s simply impossible,, *sigh*

here is d song,,

Butterflies in My Tummy


I have butterflies
flying around
inside my tummy
when I’m with you

I hear bell-chimes
ringing blown
by wind of spring
when I’m with you

Oh, this tingling feeling
makes me wanna jump
makes me wanna shout
across the room

Oh, this feeling of longing
but damn, it’s so blinding
I just can’t tell
if I feel happy or sad

I hear blue birds singing
up around the tree
when I’m with you
I see rainbows appearing
everywhere I go
when I’m with you

Oh, this tingling feeling
makes me wanna sigh
makes me wanna fly
across the moon

Oh, this feeling of longing
but damn, it’s so blinding
I just can’t tell
if I feel happy or sad

I have butterflies
flying around
inside my tummy
when I’m with you

when I’m with u,,

‘n now I miss u more!

Melihat dari Kacamata Cinta

Manusia, sebagai makhluk bernyawa yang diberi Allah kelebihan akal dan perasaan pasti pernah merasakan cinta, sebuah emosi yang murni dan mulia, yang menjadi awal dari banyaknya kehidupan yang kini terserak diatas muka bumi.

Manusia menjadikan pengalaman jatuh cinta sebagai sesuatu yang indah walau terkadang juga menjadi kerikil tajam yang menguji ketangguhan cengkraman manusia terhadap hidupnya sendiri sehingga banyak yang menyalahkan cinta atas hancurnya dunianya.

Benarkah cinta yang salah? sementara Allah saja menciptakan cinta agar kita mampu menyatukan yang terserak diatas muka bumi ini, mempertemukan insan-insan untuk saling berbagi karena Allah saja adalah Sang Maha Pencinta. Benarkah cinta yang salah? sementara banyak yang tertawa karena merasa cinta adalah anugerah terindah yang pernah mereka miliki, walau tak sedikit juga yang merasa cinta sebagai kutukan karma tingkahnya.

Tak ada benar atau salah dalam cinta, karena cinta itu sendiri tak pernah berpihak, tak pernah berat sebelah, tak pernah timpang. Memang benar banyak cinta yang tak berbalas, tapi lebih banyak lagi cinta yang menentramkan dunia, selama manusia mau dan rela untuk tidak mengecilkan arti cinta sebatas cinta kepada lawan jenisnya. Cinta membantu kita menemukan pasangan jiwa kita, yang tak selamanya bermakna kekasih saja, tetapi juga orang-orang lain yang menetap di hati kita, atau sekedar singgah untuk berbagi cerita dan sepenggal kisah mereka pada kita.

Tak ada cinta yang sempurna, karena setiap manusia pasti bernoda, kecuali cinta Allah pada makhluk-makhluknya..