Four Hearts

I’ve just realized that I’ve taken them for granted. It’s like I know that they will always have my back whenever I need them. It should not be that way. It should’ve been a two-way relationship.

I woke up this morning feeling a little melancholic. I couldn’t exactly figure what is missing, but I am sure that I missed something. Waking up to a hole in my heart, that even my mind couldn’t comprehend the exact emotion, was not a great way to start a day; especially when you have to tend to a super active ‘cool boy’ (quoted directly from the boy).

Usually, I will recover from my morning sadness by doing chores and reading for my study. However, today was one of the unusual days for me, so I have to endure the strange emotion for a whole morning. Until I saw my friend’s story about his accident on his way to his office. Memories from my high school suddenly become the focal point of my mind. I remember three people that helped me navigate my teenage rage. He was one of those people. Bits and pieces with them flooding my mind.

The first flashback moment that I remember was when this particular person had an accident while we were in our high school year. It was quite bad. It is like I could still smell the hospital ward he was nursed. I remember how we sneak our way in and smuggled salad from a particular pizza parlour. Also, how we hid the mirror so he couldn’t find out how bad his condition was. The worst is that the anxiety I felt that day also came back, that is why I was so anxious about his recent accident.

After that moment, each of those three person’s face came to my mind. We were just catching up last week, but my longing for their presence, complete with their quirk humour, feel more real today. It feels so real it hurts; I couldn’t even put it into a sentence and tell them how I miss them directly. I need an outlet, so I write this for them and for me. I hope they will understand how much I miss them and how much I treasure their friendship.

We were brought together by our Scout activities: two girls and two boys, acting like we owned the world (especially the Scout world). We know each other family as we always annoyed them with our constant presence (or lack thereof 😆). We’ve been through ups and downs together. We never actually articulate it, but we just know that we love each other deeply.

Moments we shared are countless, yet it is also priceless at the same time. Even more so after we all led our separate lives.

I could still remember our talk one night, in the backyard of the house of one of us. We were thinking about our future selves. Dreaming about what we want to be, and where we are in several years later. Naively, one of us said that he will be the Chief of the Indonesian Scout Movement. His statement is so absurd that I forget what the others were saying that night.

Another moment that comes to my mind is the sleep-deprived weeks of reactivating a District Council in our school area. Funny thing that the most memorable moment is when I left the boys to work overnight in my house accompanied by my father, while I was fast asleep in my room.

I know the girl in our group the longest. We met when she was still in elementary school; she led her scout group proudly (that perceived as smug by us, the middle schooler). Not a chance of believing that we will be the best friend in just two years after that. 2001 was the year we finally could call each other ‘best friend’. We were young and naive, fooled by boys and men (especially me :sigh:) . The boys and men came and go, but we stand together. As close as ever, until those two came to invade our little circle.

Two became Four: much for other people’s resentment.

Unfortunately, our lives drifted us apart. This is the saddest part. We were acting like we have forever, while forever will never be ours. There were many stolen moments between us, many unspoken feelings, many regrets for our misunderstanding of each other, many things left unfinished. At least for me.

However, my biggest regret is that I have taken them for granted. For most of the time, I was full of my self. I ignore their warning, I avoid their inquiry. In the end, I know that they just want to save me from future regrets, and just like any best friend do, they were still there when I finally comprehend their trail of thoughts.

It is misguided to tell that we were always close after adulthood came upon us. It is a lie to state that our lives are still full of each other. We all have had our own life, our own little family, and we were not always talk to each other. As a matter of fact, we were rarely talking to each other. Sometimes, we weren’t aware of what happens to others. Nevertheless, when we see each other and talk to each other, it is like we never been separate; it is like we still understand each other.

Writing this made me realize that I don’t spend enough time with them. I grew apart from them prematurely. I didn’t spare enough attention for them while I was busy becoming someone that is not me. I was too busy to escape my own fear that I failed to recognize that I should’ve reached out to them and come clean about my trouble. I wasn’t entirely ‘present’ on their special days. I didn’t appreciate and love them enough. I feel like I’ve failed them.

Fortunately, they all live their lives fully now. They have found their ‘happily ever after’ love stories. They are content and happy. That is what matter. I just hope that they know that I love them so much, and I really miss them. This time I promise to be there anytime they need me, and I intend to keep my promise. I don’t want to lose them again.

This is for you three:

Our talk, our jokes, our mischiefs, are our memories.
Moments we spent together have melted into the subconscious.
Memories become vague;
Moments become rare;
Talking is now a luxury that we don't always have.

Those thousand minutes are now also a thousand minutes old.
Secrets could no more be fully kept and shared.
Laughter and tears are now rarely heard.
Nevertheless, we stand at each other side.

We become the memories.
We devour our memories,
Because the feeling remains real.

I am grateful for the love,
I am grateful for the friendship,
I am grateful to have you in my life,
I am grateful for the three of you.

Thank you!


The Dark Jasmine

Dirgahayu Gerakan Pramuka!

The farewell message from Baden-Powell of Gilwell

“Dear Scouts – If you have ever seen the play “Peter Pan” you will remember how the pirate chief was always making his dying speech because he was afraid that possibly when the time came for him to die he might not have time to get it off his chest. It is much the same with me, and so, although I am not at this moment dying, I shall be doing so one of these days and I want to send you a parting word of good-bye.

Remember, it is the last time you will ever hear from me, so think it over.

I have had a most happy life and I want each one of you to have as happy a life too.

I believe that God put us in this jolly world to be happy and enjoy life. Happiness doesn’t come from being rich, nor merely from being successful in your career, nor by self-indulgence. One step towards happiness is to make yourself healthy and strong while you are a boy, so that you can be useful and so you can enjoy life when you are a man.

Nature study will show you how full of beautiful and wonderful things God has made the world for you to enjoy. Be contented with what you have got and make the best of it. Look on the bright side of things instead of the gloomy one.

But the real way to get happiness is by giving out happiness to other people. Try and leave this world a little better than you found it and when your turn comes to die, you can die happy in feeling that at any rate you have not wasted your time but have done your best. “Be Prepared” in this way, to live happy and to die happy- stick to your Scout Promise always when you have ceased to be a boy – and God help you to do it.

Your friend,

Robert Baden-Powell”

Pramuka = Organisasi Pendidikan??

beberapa hari yang lalu Musyawarah Nasional Gerakan Pramuka berakhir dan Kak Azrul Azwar terpilih lagi untuk menjadi KaKwarnas Gerakan Pramuka..

beberapa hari yang lalu beliau ke Yogya, dan menyambangi Kwarda DIY,,

ta dapat info dari teman seangkatan DSP di Pramuka UGM yang sekarang anggota DKD DIY bahwa yang dijelaskan ketika pertemuan disana adalah Gerakan Pramuka Indonesia bukan lagi berbentuk Gerakan Kepanduan, melainkan sebuah organisasi Pendidikan,,

waktu itu ta tak terlalu pusing memikirkannya, lagi banyak banget pikiran soalnya (ampe dah lama menelantarkan bLog tersayang ini,,)



what’re d impacts??


itulah pertanyaan yang ada di pikiran ta kini,,

apakah ini tindaklanjut dari adanya HizbulWathan atau pandu-pandu yang lain?? sehingga Pramuka tidak lagi dapat menjalani mimpi-mimpi pendirinya? (menjadi organisasi kepanduan satu-satu di Indonesia??)

apakah Pramuka akan tetap dibawah WOSM??

teks hymnenya gimana donk??

atau ini hanya perubahan status tanpa tindak lanjut peribahan-perubahan lainnya??



ta benar-benar bingung,,


belum lagi kejelasan mengenai desas desus isi AD yang baru,,

yang mengatakan bahwa Pandega berwadah di Kwartir,,




Dirgahayu Gerakan Pramuka Indonesia,,

14 Agustus 47 tahun yang lalu,, tepatnya 14 Agustus 1961, Panji-panji Gerakan Pramuka sebagai kesatuan dari berbagai kegiatan kepanduan di Indonesia yang diakui Oleh World Organization of Scout Movement di serahkan kepada Sri Sultan Hamengkubuwono IX sebagai Ketua Kwartir Nasional Pertama GP (Gerakan Pramuka) dan hari itu akan selalu di peringati sebagai hari Pramuka, bukan hari lahir Pramuka..

Hari Lahir Gerakan Pramuka itu sendiri adalah pada tanggal 9 Maret 1961 dimana pada hari itu dikumpulkan seluruh pemimpin Pandu yang ada di Indonesia, yang pada saat itu banyak macamnya. pada hari itu lah, di depan para pemimpin pandu yang banyak tersebut Presiden Soekarno Sang Proklamator memberikan Pidato tentang pendirian 1 gerakan pandu untuk Indonesia dan kemudian membentuk Tim yang terdiri dari Sri Sultan Hamengkubuwono IX, Abdul Azis Saleh, Dr. Priyono, Ahmadi, dan Mulyani. tim tersebut akhirnya menghasilkan naskah yang akhirnya ditandatangi oleh Djuanda karena Pak Karno sedang ke Jepang, naskah itulah yang dikenal dengan Kepres no.238 Tahun 1961. (Materi DSP Pramuka UGM XXI/2007, pemateri : K’Yayan Muliantara)

telah 47 tahun berlalu dari kilasan peristiwa bersejarah itu,,

telah 47 tahun berlalu dari keharuan keberhasilan persatuan tersebut,,

masihkan ada semangat kepanduan itu mengalir murni dalam dada mereka yang berkalungkan MerahPutih?? ataukah sudah ternodai oleh kepentingan yang mengalirkan semangat itu ke muara yang salah??

diRgahayu Gerakan Pramuka Indonesia,,

Indonesia… Kami jadi pandumu…..