in the night like this… #np

try to read this while listening to mocca song “in the night like this” or “Hanya Satu” for more tears…

it’s been a while since my last post about my ma, not because i stop missing her, I will never have a second without missing her.

I miss her smile..

I miss her smell..

I miss her hug..

I miss her..

I just miss her so much..

this night, i read a tweet from a friend about “still want to be with ma and pa much longer”, I reply “envy” and he asked me whether I am not going back to my hometown this long weekend. It could be a casual question, but for me, it was just like a thunder was hitting my head, a lightning stroke… yeah, reality sucks… even if I came home this holiday, I just can’t be with ma and pa anymore.. ūüė¶

I am so envy you people,,

enjoy every second you have to be with them, to take care of them, to make them proud..

for I only have my father, I am definitely will take care of him, even if some people doubt me, i do not need to proof it to you, evil people, I just need to proof it to my pa..

p.s I’m so ¬†sorry,, please excuse me for this random post with no particular focus….

11.11.11

11 November 2011 or 11-11-11. That is the most awaited date in the world, or at least in Indonesia, where many people held their wedding ceremony or done the birth surgery, or other special occasion, but not for me, i’m not a fan of that kind of worship. I never planned to done something special that day, but occasionally, Allah had planned something for me. I will never forget what was happening that day… or at least not to forget it in the near future, maybe i would forget about it sometime in the far future, who knows?

In that day, Friday to be exact, i got to go through my Unplanned Journey. Yeah.. my father is hospitalized, in ICU.. who want to spend a day with her father facing the death threat? not me…

Thank God… He is all better now, not in fully recovery condition yet, but fresh enough to force himself back to his office no matter how hard we forbid him. And I am too, back to my routine, to my office, facing the sophisticated J-Town.

My father’s condition is all my concern now,, He’s happiness is all that matter for me now..

I would like to thank all my friend that help me through this nightmare, i am very lucky to have you all.. me and my family thank you all.. please keep praying for my father health, i pray for yours too…

Love,

The Dark Jasmine

the Unplanned Journey

aah…

Here I come to this city, back to the city where I left my bitter sweet memories, return to the city, return to my home.

Too many changes so I can’t even notice it… or is it me that is too numb to notice?

i do want to go home, but not like this… it is not how I imagine my “balek kampung”. In my mind, I will be picked up by my father in the airport, not met him up in the ICU with all those pipes… In my mind, I will be hang around the city with him, eating durian, play tennis, not faking happy face to hide my tears when I see him laying down with pale face..

I love You pa..

I know you’ll get better soon, i just know it…

Aaaamiiiiin…

Jalan-jalan Malam

ternyata keTemU papA iTu asyiq juga yah,,

rasanya seperti ngecharge baterai semangat hidup,,

baterai untuk menjalani kehidupan yang semakin mencekik ini,,

hmhmhm,,

apa lagi malam ini,,

tenyata jalan-jalan malam itu bisa menyegarkan hati, mata, dan pikiran juga,,

apalagi kalau jalan-jalanny di Malioboro pakai baJu tidur,,

hmhmhm,,

ada sensasi yang berbeda Lho,,

trus mampir makan burung dara goreng sambil ditemani aLunan Suara pak Penyanyi jalanan yang mirip suara Om Ebiet G.Ade,,

hahaha

asyiQ tUeenaaaaan,,,

Selamat Hari Lahir, Pa

my LuPh

Seorang ayah,, merupakan sosok yang luar biasa bagi sang anak,,

sungguh besar arti ayah bagi sang anak,,

ketika dilahirkan kedunia sebagai manusia, pernahkah terpikirkan oleh kita bahwa suara yang pertama kali kita dengar adalah suara merdu ayah di telinga kita? suara doa tulus dari ayah bagi sang buah hati, yang bahkan belum mengenal siapakah ia,,

adzan bagi putra dan iqomah bagi sang putri, mengiang mengiringi tangis bayi untuk pertama kali, dan diiringi harap agar ayat-ayat cinta unTuk Sang Pencipta itu terus mengalir di nadi sang anak hingga tangis tersebut menjadi tangis terakhir, tertanam di benak dan terikut di setiap tindak,,

begitu mulianya ayah,,

memang pengorbanan yang dilakukan ayah tak sebesar yang dilakukan iBunda, yang bertaruh nyawa untuk menghantarkan nyawa baru menghiasi dunia, dengan harapan dapat membawa dunia menjadi lebih baik dari masanya,,

ayah memang disebutkan sebagai yang keempat untuk dihormati oleh Rasulullah sang pembawa kebenaran-semoga rahmat dan cinta ALLAH selalu untuk beliau-setelah tiga kali kata Ibunda tersebut. namun itu bukan berarti kita membedakan kedua orang yang berjasa dalam bernafasnya kita, namun cinta itu harus tetap sama kita beri, bakti itu harus tetap tulus kita darmakan,,

memang tak ada peringatan untuk ayah di Indonesia, tapi monumen jasa itu akan selalu kokoh berdiri di hati, doa itu akan terus mengalir untuk ayahanda tercinta,,

ayah,, sosok yang luar biasa,, teladan untuk menjadi tegar,, peringatan untuk berwaspada,, dan pedoman untuk tak salah langkah,,

ta saYang Papa,,

selamaT uLang Tahun Pa,,

…dari anak BungSu papa,, anaK papA yAng Paling Bandel,,

[,,’n d HeaRt isn’T UnheaRd,,]

YogyaKarta,,

20 Maret 2008