September 2003

On the eve of 23rd September 2003,
just after dinner,
you were feeling unwell and need to lay down,
because of the cold and the ache in your head,
you were asking for massage,
because you could not feel your hands anymore,
you were asking for guidance to pray,
because you could not control half of your face.

On the eve of 23rd September 2003,
just after you say ‘Allah’,
you were unconscious,
on our way to the emergency room.

On the eve of 23rd September 2003,
just after you lost your consciousness,
you spent the night on the ICU,
with all the medical devices to keep your heart beating,
to keep your lung breathing.

On the eve of 23rd September 2003,
just after you went into the ICU,
you were visited by tons of your friends and colleagues,
to pray for you,
to cheer us for you.

then again,
Allah loves you more.
You were gone…
on 24th September 2003.

So long, Ma!
We love you..

Mother, how are you today?

Mother, how are you today?
Here is a note from your daughter.
With me everything is ok.
Mother, how are you today?

Mother, don’t worry, I’m fine.
Promise to see you this summer.
This time there will be no delay.
Mother, how are you today?

I found the man of my dreams.
Next time you will get to know him.
Many things happened while I was away.
Mother, how are you today?

So.. How are you today, Mom?

I could only sent you an Al-Fatihah and pray for you endlessly now..

But, let me tell you a story…
I am now a mother too, Mom.
You have a grandson that you could call ‘Zhaf’.

He is such an active teenage-baby and i love him more than I love myself sometime – especially when he is already fast asleep (I know you understand what I mean, rite?)

I am now a wife too, Mom.
You have a son-in-law that you could call ‘Ji’.

He is such an amazing human being that maybe you won’t understand why he agreed to marry me at the first place – especially because you really know how grumpy I could be sometime.

I am now a teacher too, Mom.
You are my aspiration.
You are my deep obsession.

You are my muse.


All in all.

I am fine, Mom.

More than fine : I am happy.

Just one thing to tell you,

I really miss you!


Much kisses,


2016 in a recap

It is that time of the year again, where everyone is posting their #bestnine in Instagram.. and here I am, pretending that I haven’t been neglecting this blog for a whole year. 😀

So, how’s life?

2016 is magical year! at least for me..

I have a SON. Whew! I can’t believe it either, but I am living it.

Born in early May, by Caesarean Section in Kemang Medical Care Women and Children Hospital.. Let’s just call him “Baby Z”

Being a mother for Baby Z is my highlight of the year.

hmm.. This long hiatus from writing really damage the quality of my post. It’s hard just to find the right word to write. :sigh:

Other than blessed with Z, 2016 also the year full of surprise for me. Being with many kind people is also another blessing for me. From my babymoon, promotion in work, to lectured a great class. Do expect many throwback post in 2017.

Despite this #Zika, #Brexit, #Trump and many other weird things in 2016, it has been great for me.

Marhaban Yaa Ramadhan

ALhamdulillah.. I can meet once again with this holy month,,

i’ve just finished my first SahuR (having meal before fasting in the time before the sunrises), I experience so much thing today,,

i miss this ramadhan so much, i always have such a chemistry every time i think about ramadhan, and bcome more and more when i’ve finally arrived in this holy month,,

there so much things i miss about ramadhan,,

i remember when i was a kid, in my elementary school, in a small town name Sungai Apit,, with my family i go to masjid almost every night, but my only purpose going to masjid is to write the speech as my task during ramadhan,, and then i move to Pekanbaru, i also goin to masjid almost every night with my mom and sister, bcos my father always had a duty during ramadhan night that made him always go to the different masjid every night. In pekanbaru, i was a naughty kid, with my friends, we bring our food like chocolate or others to the masjid and when the others are doing shalat Tarawih, we begin our little gathering in the corner of the masjid and eat all things that we’ve brought (not for imitated by other please!! :mrgreen: )

growing old, we realize that going to masjid in every night of Ramadhan Month is not only about the “speech writing as task from school”, but the real aim of the task is to make us go to the masjid and do shalat Tarawih,, so we (me and my friends) left our “masjid adventure” and try to khusu’ in our shalat..

so much fun remembering that time, i miss it so much now,,

as i live in Yogyakarta, far from my lovely pa and miss my mom a lot, i feel sumtin different about Ramadhan These days,,

i miss everything that ever happen bfor,,


not only the “fun” things about ramadhan, but also the warm of the family and a hug from my pa and mOm,,

i Miss U a Lot Mom!!

Happy Ramadhan EveryOne,,