Teruntuk Mas @EdotNo

..13042014..
..13042014..

Saya suka bingung kalau disuruh mengungkapkan isi hati pakai Bahasa Indonesia..

Bukan karena saya belagu atau songong, tapi saya merasa kalau pakai bahasa Indonesia itu makna kata-katanya lebih menusuk ke hati, jadinya saya harus benar-benar memilih kata dengan tepat…biar semuanya makin meresap dan sampai pada orang yang tepat.

🙂

Jadi.. karena ini request khusus, jadilah saya memutar isi kepala untuk memilih kata-kata yang cukup aman untuk ditulis di sini.. hehehe (abisnya pilihan yang di kasi hanya Bahasa Indonesia atau Bahasa Jawa, Bahasa Jawa saya kan levelnya masih di bawah permukaan laut)

Pertama kali ketemu 14 Februari 2010, sudah 4 tahun yang lalu… Tengah malam gelap gulita, bahkan nama aja kita baru hapal beberapa hari kemudian ya mas.. :p Sampai satu bulan setelah itu, yang ada dipikiran kita cuma bagaimana bisa selamat dari tempat gelap gulita itu. Baru mulai dekat setelah berjauhan beberapa bulan kemudian.

Kalau bercerita mengenai Mas Edh, pasti post ini akan jadi panjang dan tak selesai-selesai, karena terlalu banyak kenangan untuk di gambarkan kembali di sini. Beberapa hal yang saya ingat dari sosok Mas Edh, yang mungkin teman-teman yang lain juga akan setuju adalah dapat di percaya dan penuh perhatian. Mas Edh adalah tipe orang yang akan selalu ada bagi teman-temannya ketika kami sedang butuh seseorang untuk menggalau bersama, walaupun Mas Edh sedikit terlupakan ketika kami sedang bahagia. *peace*

Sekarang, Mas Edh udah menempuh hidup baru, bersama Mbak Nia.. Mas Edh bukan lagi milik bersama, tapi saya yakin nggak ada yang berubah dari sosok Mas Edhi yang seperti bintang, tak selalu terlihat, tapi akan selalu ada menghiasi langit yang gelap absolut. *mulai Ngaco*

Dari cerita saya di atas, mungkin akan banyak yang berpendapat bahwa Mbak Nia beruntung menjadi isterinya Mas Edh, tapi menurut saya yang lumayan sering mengganggu ketenangan hidupnya Mas edh, Mas Edhi lah yang beruntung menjadi suaminya Mbak Nia. Walaupun kita baru ketemu satu kali, saya yakin Mbak Nia akan bisa membuat hidup Mas Edh lebih berwarna karena Mbak Nia dari sudut pengamatan saya yang kadang ngawur ini adalah seorang wanita luar biasa yang punya tekad kuat dan selalu dapat melihat sisi positif kehidupan. Mbak Nia menurut saya adalah seseorang yang dapat menutupi semua kekurangan Mas Edhi, terutama kalau lagi ngobrol, Mbak Nia pasti selalu dapat mencairkan suasan karena Mas Edh agak kaku-kaku gimana gitu.. 😆

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Selamat menempuh hidup baru Mas Edhi dan Mbak Nia..

Walaupun mungkin masa-masa awal terasa sulit, saya yakin kalian orang-orang hebat yang mampu melewatinya dengan tawa dan canda..

Semoga “Sakinah Bersama” dapat terwujud dan kalian selamanya dalam kebahagiaan dan Ridha Allah..

Love You Both!

-@daRkJasm

Watching Gravity

I always love watching movies. Any kind of movie (except animation, maybe). The last movie I saw was Gravity and it was amazing movie, no wonder it got many awards. Sandra Bullock did amazing job in that movie, although I keep admiring how George Clooney impressed me in only few scenes. Enough talking about the stars, let’s talk about dr. Jones, dr Ryan Jones (“What kind of a name is Ryan for a girl?” Said Matt).

dr Jones has one hell of personality. Thing that attracted me most is when I finally found out about her daughter. It explained how gloomy she was in the beginning, how hard she tried to keep her feeling for herself. I guessed her experience of losing someone trapped her in her own grief and she shut everyone out. This thing was the one that keep her from trying her best to go home, because she already lose the meaning of a “home”. The emotional state of this poor dr was really influenced by the grief she was holding. Easily panic at the beginning and kind of “calm down” after she finally “let go” of her daughter and Matt.

Her job as a scientist really helped her so much in surviving. How the hell is she gonna have an idea to use a fire extinguisher if she had no knowledge about “pressure”. How the hell is she gonna remember how to turn on Shenzhou if she wasn’t used to train her memory, she is a scientist for good sake. Although this movie has many flaws if compared to the real “space things”, the personality of dr Ryan is really fascinating.

A women, dedicating her life for her job after losing someone so important for her and then encounter a life changing events. She has learn how to “let go” in a hard way. One hell of a story, almost everyone can relate to it. It teaches us about hope, even when we think that we have lose all the second chances.

I also have learn my lesson in a hard way.

 

They love me, they love me not

Last week, we studied about personality in my classes and my students got very fascinated by Freud’s Defense Mechanism. I asked them to try to analyze their own personality with one of the Personality Theory as our weekly assignment and most of them analyzed their kind of defense mechanism.

There are many forms of defense mechanism, they are: denial (the refusal to face the threat); Repression (suppress the anxiety away from awareness); regression (return to a form of an earlier stage of development behaviors); Displacement (transfer impulses from unsuitable objects to socially acceptable objects); Sublimation (channeling impulses into more positive efforts); Reaction formation (expresses impulses in a 180 degrees different kind of attitudes); Projection (assuming other person is facing our own unacceptable impulses); Rationalization (self-deceiving justifications for unacceptable behaviors).

Many of my students confessed in their assignment that they commonly use rationalization to make peace with their unacceptable behaviors and I found that understandable because they are in a transition from teenagers to adults, you need many excuses to cope in this transitions.

The thing is, I also experience something that made me analyze my own defense mechanism. I really lost in grief these past days. I kinda thought that some people really hate me after all the things I’ve done for them. I felt like I’m crushed. I love them for real and I didn’t feel like my feeling is reciprocal. The unloved feeling has keep me from tight sleep and started to influence my health negatively. I feel that they avoiding me, they did something wrong to me but they act like I am the one to be blamed. I hate to be in this kind of situation where you know that this was not a healthy relationship but you can’t just quit because you really care about the person and after all the sacrifices, turned out that you meant nothing for them.

Sucked, no?

What make it more sucked is that those people act like everything is fine between us and their casual attitudes shock me. Am I looking into these whole things from a wrong view? That is the moment when I finally understand the situation. I suddenly feel like I am the most stupid person to over reacting in this situation. I figure out that this conflict only happen in my mind. I was fighting with my own perspective. I am projecting my disappointments to other people. I was disappointed at how they treated me like I was not their friends but I projected it as they disappointed at me and didn’t want me at their life anymore.

Yes. This whole time. I finally understand that I keep projecting my own feeling towards others.

I still have a feeling that all of my thoughts about this unhealthy relationships are true but right now I just want to think it as my own fear that has been projected. I prefer to think it this way because I am so used to find my own happiness, I don’t want to depend my feeling to others. If I thought this is only me, projecting my fear onto others, then it will be easier to fix these inner conflicts and keep it in me.

See guys? We’ve learn something together. I am just a knowledge tool that shares a book’s texts to you but all of you share a bit of your soul to me that really helps me to find my own self. I cannot thank you all enough for this life lessons.

for a Beautiful Bride

Nearly 15 years ago, I met a girl, using round eye-glasses for her sharp eyes with a short hair that gave her a “tough” person image.

Our first encounter was in Muhibbah Camp and she was a troop leader. An elementary school girl with lots of Scouting experiences. We weren’t friendly back then because of our troop had some kind of hard feeling that I couldn’t recalled why.

One year later, when I was in my second year of junior high school, We met again. She was a first year and when we were in our weekly scout meeting, she was already a star because she knew our trainer very well. Nope, we weren’t friend yet but the hard feeling is over, we started fresh and nice “hi” relationship.

National Scout Jamboree was the reason of our forever-last friendship. We were the only female delegates from our school and turned out that her families were old friends of my parents. After the Jamboree, we’ve been through many journeys together, Ranger Scout National Championship was one of the event that made our bond became stronger (this is the way I use darkjasm as my nick, you could read about it here. She is the leader of the Jasmine Troop). We went to the same senior high school, one year apart but we went to different university. Distance was not and never will be an obstacle in our friendship. We remained strong during the university time, even we weren’t talking to each other every day, we always knew that we have each other.

She was a born leader. I adore her for her amazing personality. She is the one that I can always count if anything happen to me. She is a pearl for me. I am blessed to have her in my life and much more blessed to call her my best friend.

Last week supposed to be the a happy week for her. Human can only plan, God will do the rest. Her father passed away a day before her wedding. I know right there that I need to be with her, maybe she is tough enough to deal it on her own, since I am the lamest one between us, not her, but I know that the least I could do to return all the favor that she has done to me is to be with her in that saddest moment of her life.

The wedding ceremony was held with many adjustments, because her family believe that her father would not approve if the wedding to be delayed. 25th of January, Jeliria Karniawati, my best friend is now someone’s wife, Deny Rendra‘s wife to be exact.

My beautiful girl turned to be a very beautiful bride.
I know that Papa really loves you and I know that he saw how beautiful you were on your wedding dress.
I love you to the end of the galaxy!

Happy Birthday to you, my beloved best friend.. I am still amazed that you could handle me gently for such a long time, because I know I am a hard person to befriend.

Thank you for being my best friend.
I wish the very best wishes for your new life, Mrs Idhen.. 😆
Love,
The tenth Jasmine
ps. Just found out that the daily post is also about a BFF.
…I don’t know why I couldn’t upload the photos, always get the error notif. Will be uploading it soon.

First Class in 2014

New semester has begin! I have my first class this Monday. I am still so exhausted after my trip to Gili last weekend, but fortunately I could make my way to my first class. I will post about the holiday later (too many pics to sort, 😆 )

It was really a good feeling, being back to class and met many fresh heads to fill and create many memories during this semester. Unlike before, this year I got 3 classes to lecture. Lecturing same lessons in three different classes are very challenging. I have to share same values, but every class has different kind of minds that need different way to approach. I hope this semester will bring me many new experiences. I hope my class will be a great journey to feed 92 souls (including mine).

Welcome, students!

Buckle up, the journey is begin!