Dear Zhaf #2

The fourth of May has come again – faster than last year, would you believe it? 😀

Hi, Zhaf!

This one is for you, hopefully one day soon you will find it interesting enough to read in your spare time.

It has been a very long time for me not writing a post about you, maybe I should invest more time to humor you in the future, no? But seriously, many things happened!

I remember that I was starting to worry that you didn’t speak enough words when you were 18 months old, but then your cute little mouth couldn’t stop bubbling when you’ve turned 19 months. I do also remember how broke my heart was when you fell and need 2 stitches in your precious little forehead; nevertheless, you amazed me to see that you were holding yourself better than I did after the tragedy. Not long after that, you chose to wean yourself from breastfeeding –  oh boy, the pain in my heart was unimaginable.

Oh no. I need to stop talking about myself and my dramatic emotions. I want this post to be about you, Zhaf. This post has to speak to you and make you dizzy a little. 😆

Your smile! Yes! The smile of yours are precious and addictive. Everyone couldn’t get enough of that, especially when you are planning to do some mischief acts. Wonderful, yet foolish at the same time. I hope you’re not going to be a heart breaker someday.

Hmm.. That gave me an Idea.

Let’s talk about heart breaking, son.

I realize that this world is not turning into a direction that I like, but I know that you could always find something to fight for, something that make your life worth to live, and something that proof your existence is making this universe slightly more livable. No pressure there, buddy! Life is not only about sadness and desperation, it is also about love, laugh, and how to share the love and the laugh.

To Love.

Love has no boundaries. One day you will find your own way to love this universe and beyond. I wish that you could understand that Allah is the most merciful, thus human is blessed with it. Have mercy, my dear Son, so you could be grateful for all the things you’ve accomplished. Have mercy, not only for others but also for yourself – for you could not love others before you learn to love yourself. I wish that you could understand that Rasulullah is a kind person, thus you could learn to be humble and sincere like him. Be gentle, my dear Son, for this world is not only belong to our kind of people – any kind of people is also living this world (science and conscience told us that they are also human), so please treat them like you want to be treated (as human). And if you encounter something that you don’t like nor agree with; remember the most crucial thing that I always need to remind myself, too: condemn the action, not the actor. I know you will figure the meaning of this soon enough.

To Laugh.

Laugh is the best medicine in this world. One day you will find your own way to laugh with others – certainly not to laugh at others. Laugh is what your soul need after a long tiring journey. Laugh is what your mind need along your wonderful journey. Laugh is what your body need to start walking into the journey. If you remember how to laugh, you will remember how to respect others – especially the one that doesn’t respect you. Just remember : Laugh is contagious. 🙂

I think I’ve already take a lot of time from you with this one. Got to keep other words for other occasion so that you won’t be bored. You will never know how much I love you. ❤ u.

Happy Birthday, Zhaf!

Love,
Bunda.

2017 in a flash

So, just like any other year.. 2017 also passed by so quickly. My blogging activity through out the year was not something that I can be proud of. In spite of my effort to keep motivating myself, I couldn’t find enough time and energy to spend in writing post. *sigh*

As my last resort, I will pour my heart and thought in highlighting each month’s theme from my 2017.

January

Being a citizen of this universe means that I also get sucked to spend my January thinking about, watching in delay, and cringed after the inauguration of Donald Trump as POTUS. “Life must go on” was the only thing that made me keep my sanity afterwards.

February

After the depressing January, luckily, what I remember from February mostly the good ones. The first time we take Zhaf to Seaworld! He was very excited to see any kind of fish and other underwater creatures there. It was a mesmerizing experience to see a pure joy of my baby.

zhaf in Seaworld

Zhaf in Seaworld, Ancol

March

Zhaf is up and stand in his own for the first time! Yeay! Alhamdulillah. This mark my march in 2017. My baby is all grown up, because not long after he start to stand, he began to take his first step – also in this month.

Zhaf Stand

STAND UP, Z!

April

My parents (both by blood and by law) went to Umrah this month and they were very happy. For Zhaf, this month we went to Bali with him for the first time. The most funny thing happened was ​to figure out that Zhaf was afraid of the beach (maybe the sand, or the sound of the wave). I still want to make him a beach boy, but got no other chance in 2017, I guess it is time to plan for a trip to the beach in 2018. Yeay!

May

Zhaf 1yo

My Zhaf is turning 1. ONEderful journey with him! I love him to the moon and back. We did celebrate his birthday with our close family, but our timing was wrong – the birthday boy was too sleepy to enjoy his party. *lol* I also have a great experience this month: went to Australia for the first time.. and fall so hard for Canberra.

June

Ramadhan is coming and we were so eager to observe it with Zhaf has already up and about this year. He woke up to join us having Sahoor in the morning and so happy when we were all gathering to break the fast in the afternoon. I guest he was starting to love this holy month, just for all the gathering (this time).

July

Become the family of SabangMerauke was my highlight this month – beside our Eid in my hometown, of course. To be part of something so important such as SabangMerauke brings back my spirit to keep going despite all bad things happen around the world. Hope is all over the world if we choose to embrace it!

August

The thing I remember the most from this month was the night when Zhaf has to get stitches and It broke my heart to see him in such pain. I couldn’t afford to remove the painful images from my mind. Blood and tears everywhere – my heart was never the same after that tragedy.

September

I was enter the 29th zone of my life, but my highlight was Zhaf is starting to wean himself from breastfeeding. He was refusing to be breastfed and started to drink cow milk. I thought that my broken heart in August was the worst, this one is hundred time disaster in my heart and mind. All is well now, tho.

October – December

Couldn’t separate these 3 months since I was drowned in my work the whole time. Not much happening outside the office since I spend most of my time (including the night) in my office. *sigh* what a sad way to end a year.

Hmm.. so many Zhaf in my highlight. Please bare with my guys, I guess 2018 will also be the same. 🙂

Love,

The DarkJasmine.

 

Stranger = 1, Me = 0

Last Friday couldn’t have been worse, yet better at the same time.

I was waking up to such a spirit that I would attend The SabangMerauke Diversity Dinner in Friday night – been longing to meet SM’s Big Family after months since our farewell dinner. My spirit was not up for too long because just after I arrived at the Office, my schedule was crushed due to a sudden meeting and a client emergency.

Failed to attend the dinner and feeling so miserable scrolling through great photos of that event, I drove home around 8 pm to at least meet my son before he went to bed. The traffic was a disaster and my feeling flunked to the bottom. In line with my bad mood, my car was also begin to show its temper: it had an engine failure in a dark crowded-but-quiet street. Luckily (yes, we Indonesian could always find the positive thing in every desperate situation), I was in the left lane so I didn’t cause a scene or heavier traffic.

Used to be in such situation, I panicked but pretend to be calm (although no one was looking at that time to judge). I called my husband and being told to check the engine so I again pretending to be brave and went out of the car to check the engine, even when I honestly don’t have any idea what my husband was instructing. I focused analyzing with perfect failure when I realized two men were approaching me. Shocked – I couldn’t understand what they were saying to me until they repeated it for (maybe) the fifth time.

Stranger : ‘Is your car having an engine failure?’

Me : ‘huh? oh.. yeah..’

Stranger : ‘Can we check the engine?’

Me : ‘huh? check the engine?’

Stranger : ‘yeah, so that we can find the problem?’

Me : ‘huh? oh yeah..yeah.. the engine.. yes, please.’

Stranger : ‘have you call your mechanic yet?’

Me : ‘no..no.. I haven’t. Let’s take a look…..

…and they looked at my car while I was doing what they instructed me to.

Long story short, they couldn’t find the real problem but they found a way to make the engine work so I could drive back home and didn’t left alone in that dark road.

I got home safe and sound that night, thanks to them.

So, to summarize the story? I’ve had a bad day but also a great day at the same time. I was quiet frightened when they approached me, but they turned out to be very kind and caring gentlemen. May God blesses them and showers them with health and wealth.

Because of those strangers, my faith in humanity restored strengthened.

Love,

Human.

Mother, how are you today?

Mother, how are you today?
Here is a note from your daughter.
With me everything is ok.
Mother, how are you today?

Mother, don’t worry, I’m fine.
Promise to see you this summer.
This time there will be no delay.
Mother, how are you today?

I found the man of my dreams.
Next time you will get to know him.
Many things happened while I was away.
Mother, how are you today?

So.. How are you today, Mom?

I could only sent you an Al-Fatihah and pray for you endlessly now..

But, let me tell you a story…
I am now a mother too, Mom.
You have a grandson that you could call ‘Zhaf’.

He is such an active teenage-baby and i love him more than I love myself sometime – especially when he is already fast asleep (I know you understand what I mean, rite?)

I am now a wife too, Mom.
You have a son-in-law that you could call ‘Ji’.

He is such an amazing human being that maybe you won’t understand why he agreed to marry me at the first place – especially because you really know how grumpy I could be sometime.

I am now a teacher too, Mom.
You are my aspiration.
You are my deep obsession.

You are my muse.

 

All in all.

I am fine, Mom.

More than fine : I am happy.

Just one thing to tell you,

I really miss you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, MA..

Much kisses,

Adek

Love, not Hate

.

No, you don’t know my struggle.
No, you don’t fight my war.
No, you don’t hear my fear.
No, you don’t see my nightmares.
.
But
Yes, I don’t know your struggle either.
Yes, I don’t fight in your war either.
Yes, I don’t hear your fear either.
Yes, I don’t see your nightmares either.
.
.
You and me,
We have our own struggle,

our own war,

our own fear,

our own nightmares..
.
.
But
You and me,
We share this life,
We share this world,
We share this stage.
.
Let’s not be harsh to each other,
Let’s not be rude to another,
Let’s not be a judge to the other.
.
❤️❤️❤️

originally posted here

Love,

@darkJasm

 

Gio and Lia

Okay, since I already begin writing about SabangMerauke, I couldn’t stop now without telling stories about these two girls! They couldn’t be any different. One is very mischievous while the other one is more of an uptight kind of girl (I don’t want to detail which one is which 😆 )

Gio, like what I’ve written in the last post, is the ASM from Maluku and Lia was supposed to be her best friend for 3 weeks in Jakarta. Lia is the KSM. Her full name is Nurul Amalia and she is a Depok Girl. Their relationship wasn’t easy at the beginning – later on I found that the relationship of ASM-KSM was supposed to be hard to build so that it could be last forever. yes. Gio and Lia are now BFF and I know that it will be last forever. You can spot a genuine feeling when you see one!

First week was a week from hell *derived from their own dialogue 😀

Second week was the crucial week in their relationship. They began to know more about each other’s background, they started to share their story, and the wall between them was starting to brake.

Third week? Gio said that it was like she was flying and the farewell was coming too soon.

What I really learn from them : communication is a key to a good relationship. At first, they tend to not speak up what they have in their mind to each other, maybe to avoid hurting other’s feeling, but circumstances grew them closer and they began to trust each other. I could say that because I witnessed how their relationship evolved, even if they didn’t recognize it themselves. Lia was transforming to a great older sister for Gio, and Gio (used to be the oldest between her siblings) was also adapting to the new role she got in being little sister.

It is a fun thing observing how Lia taught Gio to be tough: facing the hectic morning in Jakarta, surviving morning Depok Train, enjoying their busy schedule, and squeezing “steak time” for them to pour their heart out. It is also fun to sharing stories with Gio about the programs and how she will implement the positive things in her village, also hearing how mush she loves to play guitar and watching horror movies. 🙂

For those 3 weeks, I feel blessed that they come to my life with their unique personalities. I feel blessed to know them both. I really want to thank them for everything they have shared with me. I really want to thank them for all the great things that taught me. They taught me if we want to find a common ground between all of our differences, it will be easy if both part agree to make effort to understand each other. We are not born to hate but we are born to love, so it is way easier to find something that we could work on together, rather than only talking about what set us apart.

Thanks for those great lessons you both have taught me. I am looking forward to hear great news about your journey to your wonderful future!

 

Love, Zesta.

SabangMerauke : The true unity in Diversity

Bhinneka Tunggal Ika is the Motto of Indonesia which means Unity in Diversity. We, as an Indonesians have known, learned, and read many articles trying to describe the meaning. Do you ever give a thought about the real implementation of these motto?

Only couple of people have a real experience living with people from different backgrounds: faith, religion, race, accent, and others. For 3 weeks in last July, my family have an amazing story. We are living with a christian junior high school girl from Maluku. What an amazing 3 weeks! We are still hang over by the greatness of this experience.

Could you imagine? For me, I would never imagine the real feeling until I get to feel those roller coaster of life. Those days weren’t easy at all – suddenly become parents of 13 yo-girl! All of those years studying about adolescence in the developmental psychology classes are finally making sense. Teenager is a whole different creature to handle – although we were all once a teenager.

Let’s not focus on how to parent a teenage girl – we need to focus on the program instead. I know about this program from a picture that was posted by my friend – Prie (which I adored so much, btw) in path and instantly caught my attention. I was discussing about it with Le Husband when I got struck by his question : “why?”

This question got me. I really want to join this program without any hesitation that when I was asked a simple why made me wonder. Why?

The first and only reason that I can came up with to explain my instant attraction was I wanted to do something for Indonesia. Cliche? yes. But for me it was the truth. We are now living in a post-truth era, where everyone has their own version of truth. With every person has a mean to tell their version, everyone else has their own way to only see evidences of their vision. Turn back hoax is an urgent thing for us to do now and what is better than experiencing it ourselves?

We have been reading many news about how one faith is so violence toward another; how one race is superior than the other; how we are really different from one another; and so on. In this post-truth era, everyone feels certain that their version of judgment is the truth. Deception is common and many people fell in to the framed trap : we are now framing one another. I am an Indonesian Moslem, part of the majority and I am sure that once in my lifetime I have stereotyped other people who is different. And now – more than ever – I need to make sure that those labeling will discontinue.

SabangMerauke is an initiative that select 15 junior high school students from all over Indonesia to come to Jakarta for 3 weeks and live in a Family which is different from them (either by race or religion) thus they will experience how to work on their differences and be a true family….because tolerance is not something that you can understand by only learning about it – you have to experience it to really feel its true meaning. Every weekday, these teenagers got to visit different places to learn about Education, Tolerance, and Indonesia : 3 main values of SabangMerauke. Weekend was family time and most of us will take those children to places that they really want to visit in Jakarta, or take them to our family gathering. Other than these teenagers, volunteers, committees and us – the Families, there were also “brother and sister” of SabangMerauke which accompany the children towards their program – act as a tutor, counselor, and the most important role : best friends! *The children is called Anak SabangMerauke (ASM); Family is Family SabangMerauke (FSM); Bro/Sis is Kakak SabangMerauke (KSM). To understand more about the program, visit http://sabangmerauke.id/

Being part of this initiative gave me opportunities to meet great people from different background. The ASMs are not your typical junior high school students. They are energetic kids with great visions and very motivated to achieve their dreams. You will be very optimistic about Indonesian future if you talk to them. The girl who was living with me, my daughter, is Giovani Kapiluka. Gio – her nickname – is in her third year in Junior High School in Ketty Letpey – a village in Lakor Island, Maluku. She loves to play guitar and really into music and singing. She wants to be a singer one day, but also has a vision where all the children in her village could get an access to proper education. She wants to make sure everyone knows that education is important and every children in her village has equal access to school. But when I ask whether she want to switch from being a singer to an Education Minister, she still aspired to be a singer (typical teenager 😆 ).

Many stories about how joining this initiative affect my life in a very positive ways. I could finally write this post in more than a week after the farewell dinner due to my full mind and full heart : resonated from this program. I literally caught in tears every time I remember the joyous feeling of being a part of SabangMerauke. Many stories. Much Laugh. Much Tears. Many years to face until we could finally see the real impact of this positive vibe shared by SabangMerauke. For now, I am most grateful for the new family I found in SabangMerauke. Bravo SabangMerauke!